For most of my life, I was aware that my mind worked differently from others, and that people often struggled to understand me and my reasoning. But I never fully grasped why or how that difference manifested. I strongly suspect that my innate verbosity is, in part, a result of this awareness. Additionally, I always assumed phrases like 'picturing something in your mind's eye' or 'counting sheep to sleep' were just metaphors, so it never occurred to me that some people could actually see images in their minds, let alone that others don’t have an internal monologue—mine can run non-stop!
Impossible Language and Appropriation
In February 2022, I penned Aphantasia, a poem attempting to capture the essence of this newfound understanding. By July, I had written Tenebrous Neurodivergence, delving deeper into the implications of my mind’s unique way of processing imagery and the language framework used by mystics to describe their psychic phenomena.
By October, I found myself unable to shake the concept from my mind. The struggle to articulate these knowings and feelings gave birth to Impossible Language. I was trying to make sense of the world I lived in but never truly comprehended, I felt I suddenly understood so much more than my own mind. As the months passed, my awareness grew sharper. By September, I began recognising that there might be a linguistic framework to support these experiences. Frustrated yet intrigued, I wrote a blog post titled Clairvoyant Appropriation, exploring potential terminology and misinterpretations surrounding aphantasia.
A Language Framework and Key Emerge
A year later, in September 2023, I experienced a true aha moment. Everything suddenly clicked, and I wrote A Marriage of Science and Mysticism, recognising there was a key to the puzzle that bridged the gap between personal experience and scientific study and that others had recognised this too. This key became vitally important—it was the realisation that there should be language to describe my experiences. The words didn’t yet exist, so I invented words to replace in the psychic's framework, these were based on known scientific terminology and my understanding of the bodies sensory systems. Everything started to make more sense as the key revealed itself through intuitive imagery, shaping my approach to understanding and advocating for the differences in mental imagery.
By April 2024, the desire and urgency to document my experiences grew. I uploaded the video Thinking with Aphantasia, hoping to share insights into the workings of my aphantic mind, seeking to find like-minded individuals who shared my experiences. June 2024 marked another breakthrough when I detailed Anauralia and Anendophasia—a short blog about a lack of auditory and intraphonic imagery. This significantly refined my conceptualisation of aphantasia and reinforced the importance of the key in structuring these insights.
The Frustration with Definitions
By October 2024, the inconsistencies in definitions became increasingly frustrating. In response, I wrote Zeman Labs | The Changing Definition of Aphantasia. With lingering questions and no definitive answers, I reached out directly to Dr. Adam Zeman. After an arranged meeting and his agreement with my notes, I published The Mind’s Eye: A Conversation with Dr. Adam Zeman.
December 2024 saw a pivotal moment with the publication of Fifteen Types of Mental Imagery and Vividness Ranges. Here, I refined my key, aligning them with current scientific understanding, which reveals over 1 billion combinations of mind. However, by January 2025, although I was expecting a clearer picture on the scientific definitions for the mental senses and recognition of senses still to be fully defined, I found myself disappointed and dismissed by certain perspectives, leading me to write Addressing Limitations Regarding the New Aphantasia Definition.
If the body has 33 known senses, why would mind only have 5? What do I call the senses in my knowing, feeling mind?
By this time I had written two papers on ResearchGate—as a direct result of this drive to find terminology for the mental senses I possess: Refining the Lexicon of Mental Imagery Research: Terminology Beyond Absenc3 (2024) and Addressing the Limitations of the New Aphantasia Definition (2025). The aim of these papers was try and get researchers to understand the need to defined what senses aphantics have, not just what we lack. Today, I feel there is more language available, but there is still a long way to go.
Where Am I At With It Today?
I understand that interest in the topic is often restricted to those with the condition. That this community makes up about 2-3% of the population and that within that population. My experience of 'total aphantasia,' combined with my understanding of other mental senses, appears to be much less common. It is an isolating place to be.
In February 2025, determined to advocate for myself and others like me—without the constant need to defend or explain myself, I founded The Mental Imagery Resistance on Facebook and Reddit, in order to create a space for discussion and advocacy about mental senses beyond the five known.
While some might dismiss certain forms of mental sense as mere 'figures of speech,' they may hold deeper significance for others. Just as visual imagery, or its absence, can vary from person to person, I suspect that other types of imagery—and their absence—often go unnoticed. Additionally, our mental senses likely work in tandem, rather than independently, making it difficult to separate our mental experiences and the senses involved, and increasing the likelihood of mis-attribution.
My journey through aphantasia has been one of deep introspection, frustration, and revelation. The key I discovered remains central to my understanding, guiding my efforts to clarify and categorise mental imagery experiences. As I continue to explore and advocate for clearer definitions and recognition of mental senses not yet understood, I remain hopeful that the language and framework to fully understand this phenomenon will soon come into focus.
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